23 October 2010

A Post of a Different Feather

I know this is a food blog, and while there’s nothing much else I enjoy more than discussing food in all its forms, I feel like this blog is an outlet for me as well. Some acquaintances read regularly. Some give it a passing glance never to return, while others might give it a quick read after finding a link through Urbanspoon. While I’m still plugging away on my road-trip posts (they’ve been a daunting task to say the least), I’m going to branch out and go a little emo on you. All over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. (Bloodninja is my hero)

I’m at a very strange time in my life. I’m 29, married to an amazing woman, have my own house, two dogs, a great job… I can’t complain. But, well, maybe I can. Happiness is relative, you can agree with me on that, right? So many things couldn’t be better in my life, but some things could. I look at it this way: Say I’ve got a headache. Now, it may not be a broken leg, but if all is well besides, then a headache is still pretty shitty, you follow?

I’m finding it really hard to express myself while not sounding like a total bitch. I am a very happy and content guy, generally. Sometimes I just go through these little spats. It’s like a cloud momentarily blocking out the Sun in an otherwise bright and clear day. I get a little depressed an usually mope around the house, assuring my wife that everything is alright, locking myself in my nerd lair to stew in my own juices (there’s a food reference for you). I’m a pretty unique individual. I think I’m the only guy on the planet obsessed with both RPGs and food. I sometimes find myself fantasizing about situations that I know will never happen: Buying a case or two of some seasonal microbrews and going camping with a bunch of guys, spending our time smoking barbecue, hiking, and playing D&D. To me that would be the greatest weekend ever. EVER. And I know it will never, ever happen. I’m realistic. Most guys would be just as happy hitting up the dollar menu at McDonalds and pounding a 30 pack of Bud on the front porch. That’s just not me.

While I may be realistic, I’m also sick of resisting. I’m tired of running against the grain. Before it was “They’re happy so I’m going to be happy too goddamnit, friends or no!” Yeah, that worked for a little while, but my seemingly impenetrable exoskeleton is starting to crack. A rust monster has got a hold of my Full Plate +3 and I feel defeated. As I type this I subconsciously let my shoulders slump. I’m vigorously waving the white flag of surrender.
Alright, let me get right to the point: When it comes right down to it, I pretty much don’t have any friends. I’ve gently brought up this topic of conversation with acquaintances, co-workers, family, just to get their take on it, and the answer is always the same: Its part of becoming an adult. Wait, what? Not having any friends is part of being an adult? I guess it could be a part of it. Dear friends of days past have moved to other states, gotten married, had kids, etc., etc. And I get that. What I didn’t realize is that marriage involves officially retiring your testicles. I guess we skipped that part of our vows.

I understand being busy, I’m just as busy as the next guy. Let me lay out a typical week for you: 5 days a week are spent either running or going to the gym with my wife and her best friend. The other two days are usually spent blogging, researching food travel ideas, cooking or going out to eat (usually with the wife and her best friend). And it’s KILLING ME. I find it very sad that my only dude time is when I hang out with my dad. While I wouldn’t trade my dad for anything in the world, it would be nice to have some dude friends with common interests.

I guess this is due a lot to that very reason: common interests. When I first started getting into food I was thrilled that I finally had something I could talk with random people about. Everyone needs to eat and therefore everyone has their own thoughts on food. I always find these food blog posts about the bloggers and their friends throwing these elaborate dinner parties and I can’t help but think to myself: I wish I could do that. The only way I get to see any of my now distant friends is to organize something on Facebook three months in advance. I find that more than a little frustrating. I’ve got as far as considering putting out a personal ad…

Young adult couple in search of friends in late-20s, early-30s. Interests include all things food-related (cooking, eating out, tastings, festivals, etc.), travel (domestic and international), beer & wine, camping, hiking, running, working out, movies, role-playing games, fantasy…

Something like that. Those last two things would probably be misinterpreted and we’d get nothing but swinger invites (love you Dave and Nat), in any case I would never have the balls to put out something like that. There are some strange people out there, and we’re normal, just different. That makes perfect sense, right?

I don’t really know what the point of this post is supposed to be. I guess it’s the siren call of my down-in-the-dumpedness. You’ve bled with Wallace, now bleed with me. Is having no friends really just a part of being an adult? I sure hope not. Now who’s up for some mole poblano and Crono Trigger? I lost. You won. Here’s fifteen points. Now wasn’t that fun?

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Alexandra said...

I wouldn't say getting old = being part of an adult. But it definitely changes. My husband rarely has dude time (he used to be in a band and the practices were dude time but that's over now, too). I still have a few close friends and we make time to do things - dinners, movies. But there aren't as many as there used to be. Good thing my husband and I like each other.

Have you checked out Meetup? I haven't actually attended a meetup event, but it seems like there are people making friends that have the same interests on there. It seems like you have to get a lot more proactive when you are older - organize things and invite people you think might be prospective friends and see what happens. Branch out, if you will.

I think a lot of people beat this part of their lives by having kids. Not that it is why they have kids (or is it?). But kids seem to have a way of taking over people's lives and there is even less time to hang out. We haven't done that (I've got about 10 years on you), and I can see a stretch where our friends will have even less time.

Did I just end up with a conclusion that is the direct opposite of my opening statement??
(Love your reviews, by the way. I'll be using your stuff to plan trips. We live in DC and I like to see your reviews of the local places so I can add to my list of places to try!)

Mr. Micro said...

It's comments like this that motivate me to keep doing what I do. Thank you. You guys sound like cool folks, give me a shout if you're ever in the Baltimore area.

Xani said...

Mr. Micro! Don't despair... would you be willing to attend some Bmore food blogger events and see if any of us are your cup of tea? Not everyone meets a new BFF at the happy hours, etc, but at least we all love food? Also, I think you and Mrs. Micro should attend the next BCD party-- great food, excellent drinks and cool people. Consider yourself invited.

Nakiya @ Taste of Baltimore said...

Mr. Micro - I applaud you for putting yourself out there - friendship is SO important and sometimes can be swept to the side once we get older. I want to second Xani's statement about attending some blogger events. There's a Baltimore Food Blogger page on Facebook - have you joined? Looking forward to meeting! - Nakiya

Alexandra said...

Look, you just made new friends! We don't get up to Baltimore as much these days, but if we do (especially for dinner!), I'll let you know!

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