Sorry for that little tangent. This post is about the weekend prior to my chili cook-off. This weekend was truly one of the best I've had in these parts in quite a while. Like a donkey eying up your mother for stealing it's back-scratcher let me get right to the point. Both my wife and I are huge fans of Tosh.0 and when I found out he was going on tour (his tour being called Tosh Tour Twenty Ten) I secured tickets the very moment they went on sale. That was months ago. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when after researching all of the restaurants in the nearby area (Woodberry was already booked up, but I'm finally going there next month, I can't wait!) I settled on checking out b Bistro in the Bolton Hill neighborhood of Baltimore as our pre-show dinner destination. Who the flippity floppity fucking foreskin doesn't love some good old alliteration, eh? Goddamnit, even when I try to be succinct with my writing I still end up babbling about dumb shit. GET TO THE FREAKING POINT YOU SILLY FUCK.
We made car go to place, sat down, put food in mouth. How's that for getting to the point? Booyah! The spacing was a bit tight, and I was sitting on some bizarre booth that ran the length of the dining room and was lined with long uncomfortable cyllyndrical pillows, but we really loved the space otherwise. The high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows reminded us of Cafe du Clocher Penche and that was definitely a good thing.
|Now that's a view!|
|Hey Culley, you suck.|
We tossed around some ideas for appetizers and I almost went with the Fig Leaf Farm Petite Spinach Salad with local bacon lardons, bleu cheese, creamy mustard dressing, and a poached farm egg after seeing one go by but the wife said it would be too much food combined with the other items I wanted to try. Ultimately, we agreed to try the charcuterie plate since neither of us had ever ordered one and b Bistro owns their own farm and most (not all) of the meats were made in-house.
|Isn't the proportion of meats to toast a little off?|
|Thinly sliced animal parts|
For our entrées I had been eying up the Ragout of Springfield Farm Lamb Leg with gold potato gnocchi, fried almonds, and sheep's milk cheese ever since I looked at their menu online so I went with that, and the Mrs. had been on mussels kick so she chose the Moules and Frites in a green curry broth with leeks and coriander leaf, hand cut fries, and garlic aioli.
|This is exactly the type of food I like to eat...|
|...so go eat it right fucking now!!|
|Moules and Frites (Mussels and Fries for you Cecil County folk)|
|Don't you just want to fork one of those into your gaping facehole?|
A lot of people claim that Baltimore is a strong force in the national food scene, but I haven't experienced much to support that statement. b Bistro would definitely fit that bill.
We tipsily walked over to the Lyric Opera House for the show. After we both hit the head, we waited in line for cocktails and then were told (of course) that they weren't allowed into the theatre, so bottoms up! With a pretty strong buzz going we found our seats and proceeded to laugh our sloppy balls off. Daniel Tosh had two openers, both of which were very funny, but he, as expected, stole the show. The highlight is when he discussed his mom's reaction to one of my favorite quotes from Tosh.0: "I want to tongue punch your mom's fart box". Classic.
|I kept screaming "Show your tits!" but no one responded...|
|The object of my heterosexual (I think...) man-crush|
I didn't really get any great shots of the food, I was too busy stuffing my face and pounding beers, but here's a small gallery of the shots I did manage to take in between rounds of flip cup and shrimp boils.
|He's a fucking grilling fool|
|There wasn't a single rib left and I'd be lying if I said I didn't dip the cornbread in the mussel broth...|
|My ass is to' up!|
|Who's that retarded guy in the back? Oh, wait...|
|Get the fuck out of here with your Thin Mints, Samoas are where it's at!|